On this World Communications Day, I can confess to learning something new about communication: I’ve learned that there are really two kinds of “insults”—a “charitable insult” and an “uncharitable insult.” And I’ve learned that “charitable insults” are morally permissible. Did you already know this? If so, apologies for my being surprised to learn it.
The immediate question arises, of course: How does one tell the difference between a “charitable” insult and an uncharitable one? A simple example should suffice. Consider these two statements:
1. You are a moron.
2. You are a moron.
Now, it’s hard to get more clear than this. Anyone who is observant can tell that the charitable insult is statement number one. Still not clear to you? One more try, then:
1. He is a jerk.
2. He is a jerk.
Did you get it that time? Well, obviously the answer this time is statement number *two*, not one.
Probably hard to keep up with, so I’ll explain: You see, the first “you are a moron” statement—and the second “he is a jerk” statement–are both charitable because the person speaking them was inspired to do so by the example of Jesus Christ, and the person speaking the other statements was not. In the Gospels, Jesus, as everyone knows, occasionally resorted to personal “insults” when speaking to groups like the scribes and Pharisees, Whom He called “hypocrites,” “fools,” “brood of vipers,” and “whitewashed tombs full of dead men’s bones,” etc.
And so, if it’s good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for us, right? If someone needs rebuking, or if you don’t agree with what someone else is saying or doing, just lob a “charitable insult” into the conversation—it’s what Jesus would do…
But now wait just a minute, someone is bound to object. What about the Biblical prohibitions against insults? What about the Old Testament’s prohibition in Sirach* and what about Jesus’ own words in the Sermon on the Mount** (see end notes)?
Answer: I’m told those passages only apply to the *uncharitable* insult. So, if you want to personally insult someone out of a sense of love and concern, then go ahead—you’re in the clear.
If you are now confused and perplexed, then I’m in good company. I was greatly perplexed by this line of defense offered regarding why it’s sometimes okay to be personally insulting toward another human being, particularly in situations in which the person being insulted has previously exhibited either poor or downright evil speech or behavior. If such a person’s words or actions in some way offend against truth, the reasoning would seem to go, they open themselves up to the “ad hominem” personal insult or attack from the rest of “us” who are not speaking or behaving in that fashion.
So, for example, if I engaged someone like Protestant Reformer Martin Luther in discussion about matters of faith, because of his heretical and untrue statements, I would not be at fault for calling him names like “moron” or “idiot” or “devil’s spawn” etc.—rather, I’d be imitating Christ Himself.
Or so I’m told.
But the honest truth is that I reject such thinking, emphatically, as false.
So, how can one explain exactly why an appeal to the example of Jesus actually does not legitimize the use of insult between persons? I would like to offer three reasons why His example does not translate to you and me in this situation.
1. Jesus is God, the Creator and Author of human personhood.
Because Jesus is indeed the Author of my very personhood, He has the authority and right to judge me as a person. Jesus’ behavior in the Gospels is to be understood in the context of one “teaching with authority” and “not like the scribes and Pharisees.” And part of that authority derives from that fact that He is God Himself. He is the judge not just of the human heart but of the whole human person, and as such He possesses the prerogative to make statements about my personhood that my fellow creatures, frankly, lack the authority to make. Jesus has the right to call me a fool because He sees and knows all and particularly because my “personhood” is totally dependent upon Him. This is the explanation that makes the most sense to me regarding His use of language that some of His hearers found insulting. Saying a pharisee was a whitewashed tomb is not so much a “charitable” personal insult except for the fact that it was said by the One who created the person in question. And in any case, it is more an act of justice and judgment than merely an act of charity.
2. Insult places the dignity of another human person beneath one’s own dignity and is a form of pride.
We really have to face the fact that calling someone a “moron” is an attempt to subordinate the dignity of one person beneath our own dignity. That is, there is always an unspoken addendum to every insult. It goes like this:
“You are a [insert ad hominem label here] ! [And I’m not…!]”
Without the implicit “And I’m Not” behind every insult, the insult really doesn’t work. “You’re a jerk!” doesn’t work if the subtext is really “You’re a jerk and so am I!” No, the insult is dependent upon the chasm established between the insult-er and the insult-ee. If I say you are a jerk, it’s because I want to establish the superiority of my position over yours. I’m saying that “the reason he thinks/believes that way is because he is a jerk and I’m not; he’d agree with me if he weren’t a jerk.”
And this, of course, is specious reasoning, smacking of the vice of pride, depending upon how deeply engaged we are in the “And I’m Not” subtext. We can puff ourselves up by putting someone else down.
Put another way, the insult is a “reduction” of the human person’s full value, accomplished by the obscuring of the person’s full dignity by emphasizing a specific singled-out dimension of the person, regardless of whether that dimension is rightly or wrongly identified (e.g., You = stupid). Also, this is often the language used to describe the marring of the human person that occurs in pornography, and in this sense it’s not too over-the-top to say that communication that makes use of personal insult becomes as it were a form of pornography. By seizing for ourselves a prerogative that rightly belongs to God—the judging and labelling of the human person—we “objectify” that person in a manner similar to the objectification of the persons engaging in pornography. Our communication is, so to speak, “pornified.”
3. An insult offered with good intention is objectively indistinguishable from an insult offered with bad intention and is therefore utterly devoid of positive value in human communication.
And here we come full circle, given that this post begins with an illustration of this third point. Even if we make the claim that my personal “insult” toward another is intended with complete charity, regardless of intention, the objective use of certain words as personal insult (such as “you are a total idiot”) remain, from the perspective of the recipient, merely offensive and off-putting. Thus, any sense of communication being or becoming an experience that is really an “exchange of persons” is destroyed. And this is key: if we are to communicate effectively, it must be through striving to communicate the authenticity of the human person, who is both seeking to understand and to be understood. Name-calling is the exact antithesis of this goal, and I daresay it’s a goal apparently shared by the Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI, if his World Communications Day statements of recent years are to be taken seriously.
So, while it may be true that I am, let’s say, an “idiot” or a “jerk,” it remains *God’s* job—not anyone else’s—to put such a label upon me, because I am a human person He and only He has created.
God bless you!
Deacon JR
*Sirach 23:15: A man accustomed to using insulting words will never become disciplined in all his days.
**Matthew 5:21-22: You have heard that it was said to the men of old, “you shall not kill, and whoever kills shall be liable to judgment.” But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother shall be liable to the council, and whoever says, “You fool!” shall be liable to the hell of fire. [Ignatius Study Bible footnote adds re "you fool!": The Greek transliterates an Aramaic term that implies a lack of intelligence. It is an insult that means soemthing like "empty head" or "numskull"]